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Felicity and Chase had Back to School night at their school tonight.  It’s a chance for parents to meet their children’s teachers and hear about their plans for the upcoming school year, learn about the teacher’s teaching styles, expectations, and policies, as well as ask questions.  At the kids’ school, it is also the night that parents sign up to volunteer as Room Parent for their child’s class.

Every year, I have signed the volunteer request form, and every year (except for one), I have been selected as room parent.  This year, though, I decided not to volunteer because I’m back to working full-time.  I had a hard time keeping up with being room parent last year, and although I realize that Chase’s teacher needed more help than most other teachers, it was still enough work to keep me from volunteering again this year.  But despite my decision, I still found myself looking longingly at the sign up sheet, almost daring myself to write my name down.  I kept thinking there’s no way I could be as busy as I was when Chase was in Kindergarten.  It would only be what — 2 field trips (which I would try to go to anyway, regardless of whether or not I was room parent) and the Thanksgiving and  Christmas parties?  But then again, was I willing to take the chance?  Then I started thinking about the times I had been asked to help out in the classroom.  Of the time when I was asked to help out at Halloween.  And the 100th Day of School.  And the teacher’s (and assistant teacher’s) birthday parties.  And Teacher’s Appreciation Day.  Signing up fulfills my mandatory volunteer hours, but when you total up all the time put into being a Room Mom, you easily double the number required. 

All the rationalizations aside, I still felt guilty not signing up to be the Room Parent.  Like I was letting the kids down in some way.  And if I had signed up and not gotten picked, I would have probably felt both relieved because I was off the hook but also insulted because I had been doing it so long.  In the end, though, I think not being picked would have bothered me more than being let off the hook.  I would have taken it personally.

So now I sit here, trying to assuage my guilt and remind myself that stretching myself too thin is not only not fair to myself, but also to the kids’ classes.  But I still don’t feel any better.