June 13th, 2010Okay, here it goes. I’m going to say it. There is a problem with my precious little boy. For some reason, he’s not talking. Literally. A child his age, 32 months, should have a vocabulary of about 150 words. Nick has one. The only discernable word he utters is, “Uh oh.” He makes other vocalizations, mostly grunts, but he doesn’t say any words. At first I thought it was cute and called him my little cave boy. I wasn’t in a rush to get him to speak because he will most likely be my last child, and I wanted to hold onto his babyhood a little while longer. I know, selfish, huh? Chase did not start talking until he was 2 1/2, so I assumed Nick would be the same. It wasn’t until he passed 2 1/2 that I grew concerned. I was afraid he would get diagnosed with autism, even though I knew in my heart that he wasn’t autistic. I don’t know if it was just a gut feeling, but he has no problems interacting with others, so I pretty much had ruled that out, even though I am far from an expert. Either that or that I’m just in denial.
Nick is loving and affectionate. He is an adorable and intelligent boy. He understands a lot of things and can communicate non-verbally, but I also feel we may have held him back a little because he can’t talk to us. He’s got determinaton and problem solves as well as any other child his age. He drags chairs and step stools to wherever he needs them in order to get what he wants. He will go to the pantry, get out food, and bring it to you along with a bowl when he’s hungry.
I feel ashamed. Not of my son, but of myself. I will never be embarrassed of my son no matter what because I love him. I do feel guilty, though, like it’s my fault this happened to him. Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention to him. Maybe I should have played with him more. Maybe I should have made more of an effort to get him to communicate.
So now I enter the world of Bayley Scales and Rossetti Scales. I have a 15 page report telling me how behind my son is developmentally. As a matter of fact, the child development specialist who performed the evaluation of him equated his vocalization skills to that of a 6 month old.
This week we will get another evaluation. We’ve got at least 3 or 4 of them coming as they determine the programs and types of treatment necessary for Nick.
I would love to hear from any other mothers (or fathers) who have gone through a similar situation. I’m a little lost here, and I have no idea what to expect. Which treatments, in your experience, have or haven’t worked? How long was it before you noticed any results?
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My son, who is now 3 didn’t start talking AT ALL until he was about 2 1/2 yrs old. He was progressing normally in EVERY other way, he just would not talk. At every Dr. Apt I asked his Dr. if this was normal and when I should start worrying. He told me that studies have shown that children who start talking late have a much higher vocabulary then other children in the same age range when they do start talking. Once he started talking he went from one syllable words to sentences in NO time. He’s now using plurals, conjunctions and all that good stuff properly. He speaks better English then I do now! LOL.
We never went thru these evaluations, so I can’t really offer any help to you there. But My thought is that if he understands words, and is communicating non verbally. Maybe his mind is just storing up vocabulary like my son. One morning he’s gonna start talking up a storm!
Mommy D
You are doing all the right things Gwen…it was nothing you did. I’m sure with all these steps you’re taking, the evaluations will give some insight into when he’s going to start chatting away! Hopefully he’ll just develop in his own time. Keep us posted and lots of prayers sent your way.
We start speech therapy twice a week starting next week. The child development specialist also starts coming next week. At least Felicity and Chase are out of school, so there won’t be too much running around, and without homework, it will be easier to focus more on Nick.
Mommy D, your son sounds similar to Chase. When Chase first started talking, at age 2 1/2, he went from only saying a few words to a full-on word explosion. Family members kept asking us what the doctor said about Nick not talking, but based on our experience with Chase, I didn’t think there was anything to worry about. That’s interesting about the studies your doctor mentioned. It’s somewhat comforting, too, so I’m hoping that’s what will happen.
Thanks for the kind words, Linda. I keep praying he starts talking soon. But I still can’t help feeling guilty. The good news is that since our insurance doesn’t cover the treatments (I know — who ever heard of insurance NOT covering something as good news), the Regional Center we went to is covering the cost of everything.
Gwen, don’t ever feel guilty about Nick. It’s not your fault. Like you said, Chase started talking late. Since Nick communicates non-verbably with you and is affectionate I’m sure his speech will improve with the help of the Developmental Specialists.
My thoughts and prayers are will you all.
Hey, since I just saw your post, it has been a few months so I’m sure things are going better for you. My daughter needed tubes (it was like she was hearing everything in a tunnel) and a few years of speech therapy. They evaluated her, wrote an IEP, and checked her progress every so often. In two months she went from no words to complete sentences. Although she obviously had some kind of hearing difficulty(she cried constantly for two years), the speech therapy was a God-send. She also went to what’s called Phono class where they concentrated on one sound a day-the book was with that sound, the snack, the game, they made flash cards on that sound, and the kids listened to words with that sound while they colored. The best place ever. One extra thing I did was to get on her level, make her look at me while I said a word, and made her repeat it. Having her watch my mouth made her see how to say the word. Anyway, after this book I’ve written here, good luck and I’m sure Nick will do fine. Kirha
Kirha,
So good to hear from you
We got an IEP done for Nick, but because they were running an hour behind on the day he went for his evaluations, he spent an hour playing outside on the slide in 90 degree weather. So by the time they were ready to do Nick’s evaluations, he was hot, tired, and thirsty. And did I mention it was also lunchtime? Which meant that he was hungry, too. So when they attempted to do the hearing test, he wanted nothing to do with it.
That Phono class sounds great. I’m glad it worked for your daughter. Nick is mimicking a lot more sounds, but still no real words yet. I’m hoping that school will help. He starts on the 13th. He’ll be going 4 times a week for 2 1/2 hours a day, plus 30 minutes a week to work on fine motor skills. The class is limited to 5 kids per adult, which is good. They’ve set a goal for him to say a few words within a couple of months. I’ll be so happy once he starts talking.