Adjusting to Life As A Working Mom

Going back to work full-time has required a bit of adjustment on all our parts.  Whereas I used rush Felicity out the door each morning to get her to school on time, I find I am the one who is rushing out the door before she even leaves.  Del has been getting the boys up early so they can all take Felicity to school, so there has also been some adjustment there, especially with Nick, who is being woken up earlier than normal.  He had stopped taking naps, but now Del tells me he’s been so tired from being woken up early that he’s gone back to taking them again.  It’s not that the kids didn’t wake up early before, but since Del did not need to leave the house early in the morning for work, they were able to get up eat their breakfast, and watch their morning cartoons  at their leisure.  Now it’s up and out the door for all of us.

I find myself struggling to find time to balance work, family time, and exercise.  Okay, I’ll be honest, I’ve always struggled to find time to exercise.  I always found myself most motivated, though, to exercise when Felicity and Chase were at school because there were less interruptions, but now I don’t have that option.  It’s either wake up at the crack of dawn — which I fear I am going to have to do — or wait until after dinner has digested and hope I still have time to help Felicity with her homework and take a shower before putting the kids to bed.  I was busy before with work, but my schedule was always flexible and I only took the jobs I chose to take.  As long as the work was done by a certain date, it was up to me when to get it done.  In some ways, it was like being my own boss.  Of course, I always tried to take as many jobs as I could, but I always had the freedom to turn down work if I wanted (or needed) to.  With being full-time, it’s all out of my control.

Which brings me to another point.  Control.  I’m not a major control-freak, but I do have certain preferences and try to maintain certain practices in the house, but when I’m not here, I can’t make sure they’re being followed.  Case in point.  Now that Chase is going to the bathroom on his own, his preference is to stand up.  When I’m at home, I make sure he closes the toilet lid and washes his hands, but when I come home from work, I usually find the toilet seat up and when I ask Chase if he washed his hands, I am usually met with shrugging shoulders followed by, “I don’t remember,” which in my experience means, “Nope.”  Washing hands is not something that’s Del’s strong suit, either.  I find myself listening to whether or not he’s washed his hands after going to the bathroom.  Maybe this strange reluctance to wash your hands is a guy thing. 

Television is another issue.  I’ll admit that I’m as guilty as everyone else is when it comes to letting the kids watch TV when I need to get things done, but I try to turn the TV off at some point to try and stimulate the kids’ imaginations to play and not just sit on the couch watching TV.  Del doesn’t share the same opinion.  Of course, he doesn’t want them to develop into couch potatoes, but he just refuses to turn that TV off.  When I come home, I feel like the kids’ whole day has consisted of one of three activities: watch cartoons, play on the computer, play Wii.  At least with Wii there’s some activity other than thumb movement, but to have the TV on constantly throughout the day really bothers me.  I had instituted a rule of “No TV” during dinner and instead play music, but I’m always met with resistance, including sometimes from Del if there’s a game on he wants to watch.  Then of course, the kids scarf their dinner down before I’ve even started and want the TV on as soon as they finish.  Not to say that always happens, but of course, it’s hard to enjoy the music when you’re being badgered to turn it off.  I will admit, though, that Del has come to my defense a few times and told the kids to let me finish dinner before asking me to turn the music off. 

And homework.  Don’t get me started there.  Del will tell Felicity to start her homework, but he doesn’t always push her to do it.  When I’m here, I will stand in front of Felicity, make sure she turns the TV off and heads over to the dining room table to get her homework done.  Del does the more independent approach.  He’ll tell her to do her homework, but he won’t stand there and make sure she actually heads over to get it done.  He’s more of the opinion that he’s told her to get it done, so it’s up to her to go get it done.  Then if she doesn’t get it done by the time he feels she should have gotten it done, he’ll tell her she’s only got a half hour left, and will have to put her homework away whether or not she’s finished with it.  So then I get saddled down with a frustrated child frantically trying to finish her homework on time, while still trying to get Chase off of the Wii and Nick following me around the house, usually trying to get me to give him more food or a drink.

If there are any other mothers out there reading this (and I really hope there are), how do you handle work and family?  Am I the only one who’s got issues?  What do you do to make things easier?  Is there anything that will make it easier, or am I just doomed to have some part of my life suffer while I’m gone at the office?