August 18th, 2009While being the best mother I can be is something I strive for on a daily basis, being the best wife I can be is equally important to me. Because let’s face it, once my children are grown and leave the house (which hopefully won’t be for a long time!), it will be just the two of us muddling through old age together, which is why I need to make sure I take care of our relationship as well. My relationship with my husband is just as meaningful to me as my relationship with my kids; it’s the foundation of our family. It’s also something that’s easy to overlook sometimes with the hustle and bustle of daily life and raising kids. So how do we make time for each other?
When Felicity was small, Del and I used to have a regular date night once a week. We would go to dinner and the movies, meet up with friends, or do some other activity together. Now that we’ve got three kids, it’s a little more difficult because it’s harder for someone to watch all three at the same time. We’re fortunate enough to have family members close by who are able to watch them when we ask. But the truth is, it’s more expensive to go out now that movie tickets have hit the $10 range. With five of us as opposed to three, there is less money to spare on such luxuries. We still go to the movies, but nowhere near as frequently as we did in the past.
We made the decision to set aside time for each other every day. It’s usually at the end of the day, after the kids are in bed. Once it’s 9:00pm, it is OUR time. There are so many distractions in our lives that if we didn’t make that commitment, we’d lose out on a big part of our relationship. And that’s what marriage is about, right? Commitment. We sit together on the couch and talk or watch our favorite TV shows (thank heavens for DVR’s). It’s a great way to catch up on the day’s events or have heart to heart conversations, especially since there isn’t anyone to interrupt us. Sometimes we don’t even have to talk. Just watching a show or a video can sometimes be enough, as long as we’re doing it together.
What are some of the ways you find time to spend with your significant other?
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I LOVE your blog on relationships. I think it’s so important to set aside time for each other.
Unfortunately, my husband and I weren’t able to make set times for us to be together.
I worked nights and he worked days & nights (2nd job).
We were able to have all our children graduate from Catholic School and then graduate from college.
Now that our children are grown, we finally have time for each other. We watch TV, we go for walks, we talk and we play board games.
I really wish we could have had this companionship when our kids were little.
Hats off to you and Del for making the decision to have time to yourselves. I’ll bet at times you can’t wait for 9PM to come!!
Your idea is GREATTTTTTTTTTTT.
My hubby and I are going to try it too. Hope it works out for us like it does for you.
WISH US LUCK and thanks for the info!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m glad you and your husband are enjoying your time together now, mommy too. It’s too bad you had to wait until your kids were grown to do it, but better late than never. And yes, some days, 9pm takes FOREVER to come.
Good luck to you, Judy. I hope you and your hubby are able to find the time. It really is important for keeping your relationship strong.
I think this topic is very important for mommys. Often, I think dads feel neglected, simply because there is no time at the end of the day. I don’t know the last time my husband and I had “date” night. For years, it was always three of us. It got to the point that at Valentine’s Day or our Anniversary, our daughter would ask, “Where are WE going to eat?” She was always included, no matter what the occasion was! Looking back over the last 12 years, I think my husband and I have only gone out once on an Anniversary dinner and maybe twice thereafter with no kids.
Only two or three times, Autumn? Is there anyone you could ask to watch the kids for you for an afternoon or an evening? Even if it’s only once a month or every other month, it at least it would give you something to look forward to. I think that one-on-one time is really important to have.